A Sticky Situation
by ohmytheon
Summary: Riza learns the hard way that you should always knock on the door before entering a room.
**Author's Notes:** In which I find new ways to ruin Roy's life. The prompt was Roy/Riza + "I swear it was an accident."

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

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 **A Sticky Situation**

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The office was quiet. For once, everyone was doing their work diligently without making much noise. It was almost enough to make Riza suspicious, but she decided not to question it. Instead, she would enjoy the peace while she could and not take it for granted. After all, it wasn't often that both Havoc and Breda were bent over their desks filling out paperwork without taking snipes at each other. Falman was quiet as normal, reading over the recent budget reports that had come in earlier, while Fuery fixed a broken typewriter for First Lieutenant Connors.

Even Roy was quietly working in his office, but not the suspicious kind of quiet that made her think that he was shirking paperwork in order to take an afternoon nap. She could hear noise from behind the closed door of his interior office that told her that he was working, specifically the irritated scribble of his pencil that let her know that he was angry about whatever he was working on. It was probably in response to a letter given to him by General Moore. It was his adjutant's typewriter that Fuery was fixing. The man had a special talent in infuriating Roy and working him into a frenzy.

Just when Riza felt like they might be able to leave on time today, even early, a blood-curdling scream from inside Roy's office startled everyone. Fuery nearly dropped the typewriter on his foot. Falman jumped in his seat. Breda jerked his pencil on his paper and ripped it. Both Riza and Havoc jumped to their feet, although Riza had a palm on her service weapon as well. When no other scream came, they glanced at each other. Havoc shrugged his shoulders. Riza nodded her head. She would check on the Colonel first.

Carefully making her way to the door, Riza listened as she thought she heard Roy shuffling about frantically and even mumbling curses from behind the door. The fact that he was still moving and talking made her feel a little better, but she couldn't imagine what had caused him to scream so horribly. When she heard a crash from inside though, her heart jumped into her throat and she burst into the room, gun halfway drawn.

Needless to say, Riza had not been prepared to catch Roy with his pants down. Literally.

"Close the damn door, Hawkeye!" Roy screeched.

Feeling a little more than flustered and downright humiliated, Riza slammed the door shut, but realized a second later that she was still inside the room. Why had she shut herself in the room with him? Absolutely red in the face, she spun around to face the door and closed her eyes, her hands frozen at her side. She couldn't even move to put her gun away. Her mind screamed at her to get out, leave, maybe run to the bathrooms to hide, but she couldn't get herself to move. She couldn't remember blushing so hard in her entire life.

"Sir?" she managed weakly.

"Damnit, damnit!" Roy swore, sounding equally horrified with the situation. "I swear it was an accident. I didn't mean for you to see–" His voice was a lot more high-pitched than normal and constricted as well. "Oh hell."

Riza still couldn't move or open her eyes. What if he was still partially naked? Why in the world was he walking about his office without any pants or underwear on? Havoc joked that working without any pants helped him think but underwear too? Contrary to popular belief, Riza had never seen Roy…in such a state before. When they had been teenagers, they had never done anything more harmless than make out. Once or twice, they'd come close, but…

Honestly, Riza wasn't sure how she was able to blush further, but it felt like she had with the way her face heated up.

"Are you…are you alright?"

"I spilled coffee in my lap," Roy said rather miserably. "It was scaldingly _hot_."

"Coffee tends to be hot, sir," Riza pointed out.

"I could be severely wounded, Hawkeye!" Roy exclaimed in a hysteric voice. "It burned me! What if the coffee burn permanently damaged–?" When he seemed to realize what exactly he was talking about and what might have been burned by the coffee, he cut himself off sharply and made a choking sound. "I had to take my clothes off to assess the damage."

Biting her lip, Riza attempted to choose her words wisely, but couldn't find anything that didn't sound awful. "Do you think that you need to get it checked out?"

"What? Are you offering to examine my damaged goods?" Roy bit out. As she opened her mouth to protest hotly, he groaned and cut her off, "I'm sorry, Lieutenant. That was inappropriate of me. I shouldn't take out my pain on you."

She closed her mouth, still feeling the smarts of his comment, but decided to say nothing. It would only make the situation worse. Honestly there was nothing that either of them could say to make this better. He'd burned his…private area with coffee and she'd walked in on him and seen him in an inappropriate state of undress. She supposed that she might need to apologize to him as well, but it had been an accident, just as he'd said.

"I'm the Flame Alchemist, damnit," Roy grumbled under his breath, "and yet I still manage to burn myself."

"Do you have a spare change of pants?" Riza asked.

"In the closet to the left." He sighed again. "No boxers though. It looks as if I'm going commando."

Oh, god, why did Roy have to say something like that? She didn't want that thought on her mind. She tried to shove it away completely, but the more she tried not to think about it, the more it came to the forefront on her mind. Luckily, the pants were probably baggy enough to hide the fact that he wouldn't be wearing anything underneath them. She clenched her fists at her side. She did not need to think about that!

"Could you…could you get them for me?" Roy asked in a feeble tone. The last time she'd seen or heard him so embarrassed had been when they were teenagers and he'd tried to do a transmutation on some wood, only for it to backfire and break his own nose. "It, ah, it stings quite a bit to move."

"Of course."

Opening her eyes, Riza took a breath as she stared at the door before moving. She took extra care to not look away from the closet door once she spotted it. After retrieving the pants out of the closet, she turned and looked at the ground, watching every step she took until she was standing in front of the desk. Without looking up, unable to meet his eyes or look at him even if he was hiding behind his desk and had his jacket covering himself up, she held out the pants and waited for him to take them. Once that was done, she shuffled back to the door, nearly stumbling in her haste. How could someone blush for this long?

"Thank you, Lieutenant. You may go." Roy hesitated. "And if you could refrain from telling the men…"

"Not a word, sir," Riza replied honestly. He sighed in relief, which she took as her leave. To say that she bolted out of the room might have been an understatement. She connected eyes with the curious men on her team briefly before resolutely walking out of the office without saying a word. Riza prided herself on being strong and able to handle seeing anything, but she was not afraid to admit that she needed to hide in the bathroom for a solid ten minutes before she could return back to the office. So much for the day ending without any problems.


End file.
